Comments

Log in with itch.io to leave a comment.

May's narration and especially responding to her thoughts out loud as though they were said by someone else really reminds us of a system before they find out they're a system, that specific shade of conversing, especially with such heavy use of the terms "us" and "our" in those contexts

(-2)

That was... Okay, nothing more. Music is far from usual, story is even further from interesting, realistic, deep or charming - though last one is mostly due to the fact that game is short.

What good here is humour and art-style. I would recommend to continue development in completely comedic way without aiming for something other.

:3

Heya, thank you, this is a wonderful story and I am truely thankful you wrote it, great job and once again thank you.

(+1)

This was an incredibly entertaining and surprisingly deep game. The characters were charming and played off each other well.

I made a longer than expected playthrough of it on YouTube, but since it is my first ever time making and editing a video, I cannot guarantee its quality. Regardless, I really enjoyed this game. The ending has me curious about what will happen with them in the future.

wow. makes me feel like a total sucker but it hit deep

(+4)

I just created an account purely just to say how much I enjoyed this. It was a quick read that I was able to view in the browser on my phone without issue. I got a couple of laughs from the humor, the art was cute, and the character dynamic and relationship was both interesting and endearing while being somewhat morally grey, all without being something that I predicted from early on. 

I don’t have much of any experience with visual novels, and I don’t even know what it means for one to be described as “kinetic”. I do, however, have a massive amount of experience in reading light novels, manga, books, doujinshi, reflective essays, personal accounts, psychological and emotional reports on the state of social affairs for wlw and the greater lgbtq community on a global scale- 

Anyways, point is, I love yuri, and I very much enjoyed this work. On one hand, I’d love to see more of these characters. On the other, the story certainly does not need more. It’s a perfectly succinct and self-contained work that does a good job of properly covering all of the ground it needs to for a product of such length. It has just the right amount of depth for what it is, and was generally well written. 

The pacing did have something of a sudden lurch, and the shift in both time and perspective was slightly jarring, I suspect partially due to the slight change in format, and lack of corresponding art. However, it was nothing severe enough to have any meaningfully negative impact on the reading experience. Also, I only even consciously noticed one or two minor spelling/grammatical issues, which is exponentially better than most self-published free media. 

Since this is effectively little more than a stream of consciousness written out on my phone at 3am, I am not going to bother proofreading this comment. None the less, many thanks to those who made this! I enjoyed the time I spent with it. 

TL;DR: this was a fun, funny, and interesting story with some cute art, and cute characters. There is the potential for more to be explored  without leaving the impression that the work is incomplete or lacking. I was able to view the entire work in the browser on my iPhone without a single issue.
The length is short, the quality is decently good, and it’s exceedingly accessible. I’d recommend this to much anyone who enjoys short form yuri content. 

(+1)

thanks for the feedback! I'm the writer, i've written a couple of longer games on my page if you're interested, though unfortunately they're not in-browser games and require a download.

(+1)(-2)

OK, just read your story and, mmm, well, I don't want to be too harsh, but, no. I love the concept, and I love Yuri Visual Novels, (in fact, they are 98% the only ones I read,)  but it went through at the speed of a Lamborghini doing 0 to 60mph. The story never really got started, then it was over. I appreciate it was a free game, but, sorry, there are far better ones for me than this. I really did try and enjoy it, but, sorry, no. But, hey, what do I know? Maybe I am missing something, but at 15 minutes, it's just way too short. Thank you anyway.

(+1)

hey, i'm the writer! I've written a couple of longer things if you're interested: https://punishedhag.itch.io/

(+1)
wont work in browser but ignoring that, its a very cute game 

sry, the game was built in Renpy and i dont use that anymore T.T

ooh okay

(+3)

Thank you for breaking down my soul to dust in 30 minutes

(+2)

Cute little story about lil' lesbians

(+1)

it gives error

The story, it's so good, I want to know more about these two. I want to know what happens next, I want to know if Ember breaks up with May after high school. It's so tantalizing, I feel so squiggly inside, it makes my heart flutter for more.

Even though I love this so much, I've read better, but the aspect of this is top-notch, but lacking for my taste. I love stuff like this, but I want to see more heart break, I want to see the characters get emotional hurt.

(1 edit) (+3)

Really cool story. I especially enjoyed the writing, the perspective change and how you described the bully’s thought process. The art is a little simplistic, but it has its charm and looks pretty good :D I’d love for her to come out in a sequel or something. Thank you for providing a Linux port!

(+3)

Insane how long it took me to get to it... But what a lovely little story. The writing is top-notch (as usual for Hag), but I especially liked Ember's side of the story. Made me tear up a little. Good job~

(1 edit) (+2)

this game is hilarious and surprisingly deep

(+4)

It's not working on browser

mood

(+5)(-1)

gives me an error about a maximum callstack being exceeded whenever i try to play, sad.

(+2)

same... damn it. have you gotten it to work?

(+1)

negative

(+2)

Use the Firefox browser it works

(+1)

Nice game, surprised by the twist too.

This was good, the art was pretty, the story was decent, the music was good. Great work!

Have a Kudos <3

(+2)

The last segment hit different.

(+3)

I love it <3 although I wish that it was longer...

(+1)

Did something happen to the Windows build?  I start the game, May says a few words, enters the bookstore, leaves, and then the game cuts back to the main menu.  There's no sound or title art.  The web build looks correct as far as I can tell, but the Windows build looks like it was barely started.

(1 edit) (+1)

Should be fixed now, let me know if there are anymore issues!

(+1)

Thanks for addressing that quickly.  I took a quick look and it seems to work correctly now, so I look forward to playing it.  There were two game folders installed when I updated the game through the Itch app (GFBully1080p-1.0-win and GFBully1080p-1.0-pc I think) but uninstalling and reinstalling it fixed that.  I'm guessing an old build folder got deployed by accident the first time?

Yeah, most likely. The latest build is the GFBully1080p-1.0-win one. Glad it works for you now, enjoy! Lmk if there are anymore issues

My game seems to be having the same issue for some reason...

(+1)

The game crashes for me immediately after May leaves the book store, any help?

(1 edit)

Hi Aoba! I don't know if I can help entirely but I can try! What platform are you playing on? (WebGL, Windows, Mac, etc.)

Windows

(+1)

Okay, I pushed a new build that might have fixed the issues you were having. Let me know if you have anymore questions or problems with the game

(+1)

A great mix of cute and funny, with some conflict and a fulfilling end. Would love a sequel, maybe another character for some jealousy as well? 

I liked that, short and sweet. I really enjoyed it. I would love to see a larger series built around the relationship. Capturing the development up to where the game begins and perhaps a second season continuing forward. The characters are great, their dynamic strikes a niche, really only wish there was more of it. Great work!!    

(+3)

Apart from a few technical hiccups with formating, this game was an absolute delight.  

The first half was a delightfully sweet story with the some relatable moments, but that SECOND half...  I loved it so much.  The angst and characterization fed my soul.  Great job.  Would love to see a sequel someday, but these characters will live rent-free in my heart forever.  

Thanks, I am still getting used to renpy, my first upload. And yeah, maybe plus a new character in the story.

(+2)

Very Cute Game, i also like the characters and how they act, i like the fact that you pretty much hear both sides of their thoughts, what their thinking so it makes them more relatable, this wasn't half bad, and would of liked to see much more of their High School romance and see if they can make their love truly work.


I did a video on this game, enjoy! keep up the good work!

(+1)

Perfectly encapsulates the high school experience of thinking you're evil or cringe or unredeemable but really you're just twelve and you're in love so bad it hurts and you think noone will ever understand you and it's just really good.

(+1)

That was so cute!

(+1)

That was fun, I'm glad I found this game scrolling for something to do while in study hall :]

(+4)

This was a nice game. Some of May's dialogue were cringy but based on her personality I think that was the point, but Ember... Ember made me teary-eyed, at some point it made me cry just because of how beautiful and complex her dialogues were. The way she cares for May it's just so precious and the music goes well with Ember's perspective of the situation. The ending is obviously predictable but the way it reaches to that point and how it makes the player feel is something incredible. Glad I stumbled upon this game because it will certaintly be in my mind for a while just because of how it made me feel. 

Awesome job, guys ;)

(+1)

When your name is Ember: ToT

(1 edit) (+1)

This is the best game ever

(+8)

Oh wow, that was way more complex and heartfelt than I was expecting! The first half kept me laughing, and the second part was a lot to process.

Really good content on every level ~~ very impressive all round!

Great work~~

(+5)(-1)

This was adorable, I love it!

(+1)

thanks